a desirable ailment

Medieval bloodletting has been written about before at the gimcrack, but there’s always more to come…





“For the physician of the Middle Ages, bleeding became his “take two aspirin and call me in the morning.” Extant text detail the hazards of ’withholding blood’ and men, children and the elderly were profusely bled. Menstruating women were often spared the procedure as nature already provided them with a monthly detox. Bleeding haemorrhoids became an ailment to be desired.





Diagnosis was also influenced by astrology. Medical charts informed physicians what not to do for people born under a certain star sign.





Aries: Avoid incisions in the head and face and cut no vein in the head.

Taurus: Avoid incisions in the neck and throat and cut no veins there.

Gemini: Avoid incisions in the shoulders, arms or hands and cut no vein.

Cancer: Avoid incisions in the breasts, sides, stomach and lungs and cut no vein that goes to the spleen.

Leo: Avoid incisions of the nerves, lesions of the sides and bones, and do not cut the back either by opening and bleeding.

Virgo: Avoid opening a wound in the belly and in the internal parts.

Libra: Avoid opening wounds in the umbellicus and parts of the belly and do not open a vein in the back or do cupping.

Scorpio: Avoid cutting the testicles and anus.

Sagittarius: Avoid incisions in the thighs and fingers and do not cut blemishes and growths.

Capricorn: Avoid cutting the knees or the veins and sinews in these places.

Aquarius: Avoid cutting the knees or the veins and veins in these places.

Pisces: Avoid cutting the feet.





We’ve also discussed the popularity of the enema, known as a clyster, especially when administered by a limonadier des posterieur.

Administering an enema was considered a high art

“The limonadier, as a skilled tactician, was to be gentle and discreet and not take the place by storm, but like a trained sharp-shooter, is prepared for action and fires as soon as he catches sight of the enemy.”





The clyster was a like a daily vitamin pill, facial and high fibre breakfast. Nobility and royalty typically took three or four a day. Through advertisements and word of mouth, clysters acquired the reputation of increasing sexual potency and curing impotence.





Costing more, sexual enemas were known as “restaurants“. After receiving a restaurant, elderly women were said to turn skittish; men of all ages, fiery. They were indulged in regularly by the French cardinal Richelieu. When Richelieu married for the third time at age 85, he announced that if the marriage with his young bride produced no children, it would not be his fault since he still took sexual clysters, as he did until his death at 92.

When Louis Xlll of France was ill, Richelieu supervised the doctoring; within a period of 6 months, the ailing king was subjected to 47 bleedings, 215 oral purgatives and 312 clysters - two enemas every day except holidays

it’s up and ready to enter into marriage

Professor Karl August Weinhold*** was a German physician with a few strange ideas. I discovered this by reading Panati’s Extraordinary Endings of Practically Everything and Everybody which you can probably find in your local library. Or you could read a translated wikipedia page about him which is even more fun…..

Weinhold recommended the following as a means to prevent overpopulation:

“I propose, therefore, as a general and urgent measure, a kind of indissoluble infibulation with soldered joints and metallic sealing before, which is not different from what can only be opened by force, quite capable of preventing the act of procreation until the entry into marriage. This kind of indissoluble infibulation talking to me on several individuals who hold placed by masturbation into an almost incurable nerve weakness, which treffliebsten services provided. You go from being fourteen years old, it’s up and ready to enter into marriage applied to such individuals who possess demonstrable not so much wealth to feed the creatures created out of wedlock educate. They will remain where all his life, which never come to the logo, to be able to support a family and maintain.





The surgery itself is quite easy and almost painless, as does the Verlötnng and metallic seals, the latter of my invention, the foreskin is in fact preferred, and between a pair of perforated metal plates gently squeezed, so that the pierced a hollow needle in which a wire is five inches long, can hardly be felt. Is pulled through the wire, it is bent so that it is not obvious which parts can be pressed, and both front Eiidspitzen be approached and fused together by means of a soldering iron kleineu. As soon as the soldered spot, which gets the size of a lentil, is cold, is pressed by an oppositional attitude of a solid body, a small metal die and this taken into custody.





It is thus quite impossible to open the infibulation and close without a stamp again secretly, without that there should not be detected at the next examination. The control of the legal and illegal opening of that is due to a medical-legal authority. The secret and violent opening, which should be made by individuals 14 to 17 years, will be punished without respect of persons with rods.





Those, however, which of 18 to 24 Years of life represented as taking place with the rat race, what would be best suited to take the surplus from the sexual voluptuous power tools in the work-shy arms and legs

*** As well as being in favour of infibulating and male chastity belts as a way of population control, he was also one of several doctors who attempted to galvanise the dead back to life using electricity

stinging, biting and swelling for sex

Recently I read The Strangest Human Sex Ceremonies and Customs by Talalaj and Talalaj and I know you’re all keen to learn what I’ve discovered...




On the Micronesian island of Ponape, a man will place a particular type of tiny stinging ant on the clitoris of his partner, as it is said to produce a short but acute tingling erotic sensation. Lovers also bite each other’s eyebrows during sex play.





A few centuries ago the Topinamba men of Brazil encouraged poisonous snakes to bite their penises. Even though the practice was dangerous and painful, they felt it was worth it for the monstrous swelling it produced.





A Trobriand girl demonstrates her interest in a boy by hurting him. She attacks her chosen mate with a sharp shell or bamboo knife and the boy accepts this as it is regarded as an invitation to sex.





A girl who attacks most vigorously is said to show she has the best temperament as a future lover. The beating and scratching by a girl is considered to be an expression of appreciation of a boy’s beauty. The boy’s ambition is to receive as many wounds as possible as they signify how sexy he is.

The young men of the West African Fulani tribes take part in a seven day beauty contest in the hope that a woman will choose him as a husband. He paints his lips dark red and decorates his head with a ram’s beard, chains, beads, rings and ostrich feathers. They stand in a line and sway gently while rolling their eyes and flashing their teeth.

As part of the contest the men choose a challenger to whip them. While he is being beaten, he expresses his virility and sexuality by submitting without flinching, holding his arms above his head or languidly fingering a necklace and gazing at his reflection in a mirror.

fake fashions

Oh the things we do in the name of fashion




In the 18th century it was considered fashionable to wear fake eyebrows made from mouse skin! As mice were caught they were skinned and cleaned and shaped into eyebrows which the well-to-do and fashion plates of the times glued over their real brows. Unfortunately, the heat of the ballroom sometimes caused them to slip.





Rich women seeking rejuvenation for their fading beauty visited Madame Rachel of New Bond Street. She opened her salon in 1863 but was forced to close a few years later when she got in trouble with the law.

“She sold Magnetic Rock Dew Water of Sahara for removing Wrinkles, Disinfecting Powder of the choicest Arabian odours, Chinese Leaves for the cheeks and lips, Astringents and stimulants for rendering the hair Italian brown, Senses of Peace, Vinegars for the Sick Room, Souvenir de Marriage, Maiden’s Keepsake…. She professed in her advertisements to be able to do diverse incredible things




Madame Rachel came undone when she extracted £5,300 from a certain Mrs Borradaile “to make her beautiful forever”. Mrs M was left penniless after signing over everything she had to Madame Rachel and receiving very little in exchange

“On several occasions though, she gave me a cigar. I recollect her giving me one in February of this year.”

Good fake teeth were a prerequisite for any aspiring beauty in the 18th century who suffered from tooth decay but until Pierre Fauchard developed an effective method for attaching dentures many disasters were experienced at the dinner table.





One of his methods stated that artificial teeth could be held in place by tying them to the remaining solid teeth by pivots, using waxed thread or gold wire. He also invented spring loaded dentures which exerted a constant pressure in the mouth. Naturally some muscular effort was then needed to shut the mouth but at least top sets with these powerful stabilisers never fell.

An accidental malfunction of the springs could be worse than inconvenient. The Victorian lady hated to be caught without a second pair in her handbag and a booklet of instructions on how to avoid mishaps.




Then James Gardette made the first springless top set. They were hailed as a dental triumph and he became known as the discoverer of atmospheric pressure in dentistry. You can see an example below of this type of rubberised denture which I found at Black Market Antiques. I particularly like the advertising blurb that went with it.

This is a real set of used false teeth. The dentures are in very good condition, with the obvious damage to the left front tooth, which has been broken out of the plate entirely. These dentures came from an estate, where the former owner no longer need them, primarily due to their death.

These dentures would make a great addition to a dental collection….also can be used for a wide variety of other things.